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I still felt icky using the word gay about myself (“I’m … not straight” is what I said). The game also gave us something to focus on, so we wouldn’t have to look each other in the eye.
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The normalcy of that ritual was comforting to me. Video games were something we always did together-half an hour or so every weeknight. We were playing Spider-Man 3, and somehow, that made it easier. At the very least, that vision would have to be radically reconfigured once I told him I’d only ever had romantic feelings for other boys. He teaches and shows, you watch and learn, and a vision of your future life emerges, a picture of successful manhood that is in some ways the most cherished thing you and your dad share. Marrying a nice girl and getting her good and pregnant is part of that, just like playing catch in the backyard is. Sons want to be like their fathers-they just do-and fathers want to see their sons become men.
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I was pretty sure he’d react all right.īut it was still hard, because coming out to your dad is hard. On social issues, he takes a laissez-faire stance: Live and let live, just don’t hurt anyone. My father is an artist from a family of New York intellectuals. People ask me if it was hard-he’s a political conservative and a Christian, and they wonder if I was afraid he would condemn me. These findings provide evidence for a diffusion process in which the influence of expectations is modulated by movement informativeness and informative kinematics can override initial expectations.I came out to my dad while we were playing Spider-Man 3 on PlayStation 2. When kinematics contained intention information, kinematics predicted the intention choice. Testing of competing models revealed that when kinematics contained no discriminative intention information, prior expectations predicted the intention choice of the observer. Using rigorous psychophysics methods, we find that the processes of ascribing intentions to others are well described by drift diffusion models in which evidence from observed movements is accumulated over time until a decision threshold is reached. Here, we consider how prior expectations about others’ intentions are integrated with visual kinematics over time in detecting the intention of an observed motor act (grasp-to-pour vs. Expectations facilitate perception of expected stimuli but may hinder perception of unexpected alternatives.
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